Innocence

How are adults supposed to be like? Serious, mature and responsible with life all the time? Really?

When I was young, I thought when I turn 26 years old (I don’t know why I came up with the number 26 :), I would finally become an adult. Well, that did not happen. I can see some of you nodding your head 🙂 ). At that age, I was a young lady still trying to find my way and I hardly felt like an adult.

Even in my early 50s, I still do not feel like a mature grown up (now you know my age). In my heart (or head), I still feel like a young girl. I had the innonce toward life – innocent outlook. I think it was due to the fact that my life has been on smooth sailing more or less until recently. (read “Rescue Story” for details 😉 ). I think difficult trials can make one grow up fast. In my case, I am not sure if I grew up. I feel more like I am losing the sense of innocence with which I look at the life as if I am still that young girl – who read lots of classical novels written by Tolstoy, Hesse, Hardy, Remarque, Dumas, Lee O-young … listening to classical musics by Strauss, Beethoven, Mozart, Albinoni…

I think that it is a good thing to grow up and become more like an “adult”, but not by becoming bitter or cynical. I know in my heart how I can keep the “innocence”. By staying in the presence of God throughout my life.